As a coaching psychologist with a focus on positive psychology, I work with clients everyday to support them in creating a positive future. What I find that often gets in the way of creating that beautiful, shiny new future is a lot of clutter rom their past. This emotional, social and mental clutter is often the reason that they are not achieving their goals. So what are the important lessons in letting go that can support you in achieving your wellbeing and success goals in 2016? Here are a few that I would like to share with you.
- Forgive Yourself. Let go of resentments, blame and guilt that you are directing at yourself for what you think you have done or not done in the past. Ruminating over past mistakes and beating yourself up over missed opportunities only keeps you anchored in the mire of past unhappiness. We are often very quick to forgive other for errors in judgments or mistakes reserving our toughest criticism for ourselves. There is a point where this criticism stops being constructive and is now destructive.
- Acknowledge Fears. We may be holding on to a relationship, job or habit because it is known and familiar, even if it’s not good for us. In my experience as a professional psychologist, people are more afraid of the unknown than anything else. It is normal to be fearful about what will happen next when you leave a job or a relationship. However if you are being ruled by your fear, then it will stop you from moving forward. Identifying what you afraid of and how that might be stopping you, gives you the power to choose between your fear and your desired outcome. Our fears can run us if we don’t get clear on what they are.
- Ask for Help. Letting go is not easy and even if you know you need to do it, you may have no idea how to begin. Working with a professional psychologist to support you emotionally as you let go of a relationship, job, or habit will make it an easier, quicker process, then if you struggle through on your own.
- Keep Moving. Even if you feel stuck, tired or uninspired, stay active physically and mentally. Getting regular exercise and taking action in other areas of life, will give you more energy for the area of your life that you are currently challenged by. That activity will give you the momentum to take the actions involved in letting go more easily.
- Focus on the Benefits. If I let go of this job, relationship or habit, how much better will my life be? Notice how much of your energy is zapped by holding onto to this situation in your life. What could be possible if you free yourself from this situation? How much lighter will you feel?
If you are finding it hard to let go or you are feeling stuck with some area of your life, our professional psychologist can support you. We offer a range of positive psychology and coaching services, visit our Services page for more information. Bright Ideas Psychology is a Sydney positive psychology service where our psychology services include counselling, personal coaching, life coaching, executive coaching, performance coaching and organisational psychology. You get the evidence based strategies from a professional psychologist. To book a session, contact our Bright Ideas Sydney Psychology office.